Epic Poetry in Mrs. Whatley's Class

The students are cutting their literary teeth on epic poetry, and they are trying their hand at incorporating an invocation (calling on a god or goddess for help with the writing of the poem—and they must call upon a god or goddess that would watch over them in their endeavors), epithet (poetic “compliments” given to the Epic Hero—the student), and using in media res (beginning in the middle of the action) in their own epic poems.

Mackenzie Hill
O Vesta, goddess of the home, I come to you with the great efforts belonging to Mackenzie. Many a toilet bowl she has conquered. Now in her time of need she calls upon you for help. For she knows her toilet wand and cleaner will not be sufficient to conquer Super Bowl, the dirtiest bowl of all the land; therefore, she calls upon you, O Goddess. Through you, she not only can save the citizens of the city of Bath, but also the country of Tub…

Caitlin Ulry
Tell, O Athena, goddess of wisdom, of the gallantry of Caitlin Ulry, babysitter of the young of Dothan. Many a frenetic child did she care for and many a child did she love. Smile upon her glorious works and sing her praises! For Caitlin of Dothan and Kayla of Webb watched the children of Dothan earnestly. Many a weekend did they watch the children with such fervor that it appeased the Kingdom of Dothan.

Breanna Valverde
Tell, O Apollo, god of music, the great deeds of the revered Breanna, slayer of all guitar solos unworthy of the mighty human ear! Unite with her and guide her in using this spectacular six-stringed axe, so she may delight herself in splendid victory, finally conquering the undefeated power of Riff!

Jacob Metcalf
Tell , O Mars, god of battle and war, of the greatness and strength of Jacob Metcalf, player of the powerful Rebels, and his beast-mode ability to play the massive sport of basketball!

Seth Arroyo
Help, O Mars, the god of war, in the powerful battles performed by Seth Arroyo, third basemen of the might Rebels baseball team, located in the Kingdom of Rehobeth, land of the peanuts. Seth, son of Joey, salesman of the powerlines, fought hard and swift through the lush green plains of Oates Sanders Field, destroying those light in heart and those without skill…

Joslyn Bilbo
I call upon thee, O Goddess Athena, to help the majestic one Joslyn, the all-mighty creator of design! Help her face the toughest battle of all. As I approach the worst dresser, I release my strength as I strip her of her hideous clothes. I use my magic powers to create the best design of all time…

Catherine Gardino
Sing, O Goddess Vesta, the mighty goddess of the home, to help the strong and powerful person of Catherine Gardino to destroy the dust bunnies who try to take over the great land…

Mollie Etheridge
Tell, O Apollo, god of sun, music, and poetry, of the outstanding efforts of Mollie Etheridge, dance student of the amazing Oz Dance Center. May you please help her body and encourage her emotion. She will exult and forever have a passionate love of dance. Look at her skill with joy and delight and be pleased by her outstanding talents. For if you do not help, she will forever be tormented by the beastly Tyme Monster…